- Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:13 pm
#55585
even though I had a rotten day, this made me laugh hope you also enjoy it !
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
>
> Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled
> the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked
> for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow
> come across this rather important message.
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you
> to actually crap in your pants when
> I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold,
> and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I
> just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in
> Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
> Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
> shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a
> very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
> with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
> was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes,
> cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to
> your buddies to come help mug us again).
>
> After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
> I explained the entire episode of
> what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of
> four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy
> with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
> all the cash in your wallet. [That
> made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked
> at the curb ..... after I broke the
> windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's
> office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
> President Obama as my possible target.
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
> while he traced your number etc.).
>
> ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
> this type of retribution
> is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
> well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
> issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and
> perhaps reconsider, the career path
> you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so
> lucky. Have a good day
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
>
> Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled
> the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked
> for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow
> come across this rather important message.
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you
> to actually crap in your pants when
> I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold,
> and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I
> just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in
> Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
> Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
> shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a
> very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
> with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
> was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes,
> cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to
> your buddies to come help mug us again).
>
> After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
> I explained the entire episode of
> what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of
> four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy
> with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
> all the cash in your wallet. [That
> made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked
> at the curb ..... after I broke the
> windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's
> office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
> President Obama as my possible target.
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
> while he traced your number etc.).
>
> ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
> this type of retribution
> is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
> well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
> issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and
> perhaps reconsider, the career path
> you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so
> lucky. Have a good day
Lifetime NRA Member<div>CCDL Member</div>
The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes,
the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.
The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes,
the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.
- By SR9